Thursday, May 21, 2009

my quarter-life crisis

so here i am. 25 years old. may 15 came. and went. i don't feel any different, but as i look back on the last year of my life... i am different. so different. i started going to a psychologist last year. my 24th birthday was my first visit. i had been told by someone that should have been my biggest advocate that i was messed up and therapy could "fix me". so i went to be fixed, and over the year, discovered that i am pretty damn happy with who i am. what i was told needed to be fixed about me, actually, are some of the things that i like the most about myself. the things that make me... me. all of my life my mom has told me to remember who i am. the past few years, i forgot that. i felt like i had to become who someone else wanted me to be. not only was it tiring and frustrating, but it was extremely painful to know that i could not be me and be loved. so since january i have made some changes. big changes. at first it was heart breaking. then so uplifting and freeing. then it got really lonely. now, almost 6 months later, i can't say that things are easy. things are probably harder now than they have been for a while. but i am proud of myself. i am happy with who i am and what i'm learning about myself daily. i am excited about my future. very, very excited about my future! :|]

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