I will inspire!

For far too long, i have looked to songs, poems, strong coffee, catchy quotes, strokes of paint, sunsets, sweet smells, and sad moments to inspire me. Like lust, inspiration is great, but fleeting. I have described myself on facebook or myspace as someone who is "easily inspired for a moment". I need it, I want it, I have to have it. It's great while it lasts, but i can never get enough of it.

I came home from a good day at work, excited about taking a bubble bath while eating grapes, drinking white wine (i know, they're kinda the same thing... just in different forms), and starting a book that I was actually thrilled about reading. I doubted my ability to read far into this new book. I was, after all, inundated in warm, soapy goodness. It's like trying to read while laying out at the beach. You have great intentions, but it usually lasts like 5 minutes and then you're asleep or uncomfortable in your book reading position, so you lay it down and play with a handful of sand instead. But on this shockingly not so A.D.D. occasion, I read like 60 pages. Jesus and Shane Clairborne explained to me what it's like to live as an 'ordinary radical'. As a generation of christians that have been told everything we are NOT supposed to do, we are struggling to find what we can do... what we can think... who we can be. I was reminded of a very prophetic phrase that my dad told me a few years ago. I was in the middle of a depressing, anxiety driven graphic design program, and was looking for inspiration. After listening to me complain about how hard it is to find inspiration for a project i don't want to do, he simply said, "maybe you shouldn't worry so much about how to become inspired. Maybe it's time you start inspiring others." It's something I'd known for a long time, but hearing him say it was like giving me permission to believe it. He was so right. It's almost like i'm being selfish searching for this 'minute-lasting' inspiration, when i have so much inside me that i can give to others.

So reading this book (it's called The Irresistible Revolution: living as an ordinary radical, btw), even though i'm only 60 pages in, I think i'm becoming aware of what i need to do. I need... i want... i have to inspire. I am an artist with a gut-wrenching passion for the world. I need to tell the world's stories. I want to rip open the glazed eyelids of the jaded individual. I have to inspire if change is going to occur.

By the way... if you are looking for inspiration, there are a few things that God has given to me recently that has totally worked. And i wasn't even searching for it...
Driving with the windows down with a good song on the radio when the sun starts setting
(it works best if you're in southern california :), running into a friend i hadn't seen in 7 years at the grocery store, a great hug from someone who loves me.