43 things quiz...

I took the 43 Things Personality Quiz and found out I'm a

Traveling Healthy Tree Hugger

my quarter-life crisis

so here i am. 25 years old. may 15 came. and went. i don't feel any different, but as i look back on the last year of my life... i am different. so different. i started going to a psychologist last year. my 24th birthday was my first visit. i had been told by someone that should have been my biggest advocate that i was messed up and therapy could "fix me". so i went to be fixed, and over the year, discovered that i am pretty damn happy with who i am. what i was told needed to be fixed about me, actually, are some of the things that i like the most about myself. the things that make me... me. all of my life my mom has told me to remember who i am. the past few years, i forgot that. i felt like i had to become who someone else wanted me to be. not only was it tiring and frustrating, but it was extremely painful to know that i could not be me and be loved. so since january i have made some changes. big changes. at first it was heart breaking. then so uplifting and freeing. then it got really lonely. now, almost 6 months later, i can't say that things are easy. things are probably harder now than they have been for a while. but i am proud of myself. i am happy with who i am and what i'm learning about myself daily. i am excited about my future. very, very excited about my future! :|]

strength

For what it’s worth, it’s never too late, or in my case too early, to be whoever you want to be. There’s no time limit... start whenever you want... you can change or stay the same. There are no rules to this thing. We can make the best or the worst of it. I hope you make the best of it. I hope you see things that stop you. I hope you feel things that you never felt before. I hope you meet people with a different point of view. I hope you live a life that you’re proud of and if you find that you’re not, I hope you have the strength to start all over again.
-Benjamin Button

My To Do List...

In no particular order...

•Make a website for myself... a good one this time... this ain't no school project, this is the real world now
•Get more involved with Children of the Nations (cotni.org)
•Design a tattoo that will eventually (when money grows on trees) go on my arm (I know what it's going to be, but i don't want to tell yet)
•Continue taking pictures, building my portfolio, and educating myself on design and photography
•Share my story with more people, and ask other people about their story
•Continue to be an encourager and advocate for my brilliant, amazing father who has been unemployed for way too long
•Use my love for world missions and design to start, or add to something great

still thinking... will add to this list, and check things off as i can...

Malawi in 30 seconds

Africa

I've been back for over two weeks and still cringe at the thought of trying to put into words what Africa did to me. I tell people I'm still processing when they ask me how it was. I don't know what else to say. I have nearly a thousand pictures that I look at over and over again hoping words will come to me that will help me explain to others how amazing my 14 days in Malawi were.

I've decided my answer is simple. Malawi changed me. (A new phrase i've heard recently from people who traveled to Malawi with me, "gloriously ruined")

How could it not. I saw sunsets, smelt the smoky air, became friends with some of the nicest, most beautiful people. I fumbled around in a pitch dark night to watch falling stars in a sky filled with more lights than I'd ever seen (and as if the night couldn't have gotten any better, there were hippos nearby, grunting all night). I watched orphaned children sing and dance praises to God for "being on their side". I had good, meaningful conversations with new friends. I held babies and danced with children. I saw a lake that looked like an ocean, and got to sit and drink coffee and soak it all in. I hurt for those that were hungry and sick. I was encouraged by ministries like Children of the Nations, Ministry of Hope, World Vision, and African Bible College. I think my mom summed it up best when I called her from New York on our way back. "So, it sounds like you lived", she said.

I did. I lived every day. I soaked in every moment.

It's amazing how long a day is in Malawi, but how fast those same 24 hours go by here in La Mirada, California. I want to live each day, but it's so easy to be lazy. It's easier to be entertained by a movie about Africa, than to go out and be a part of the changes that need to be made in Africa. After a two week trip, it'd be easier to leave Africa in Africa. But I can't do that. I went on this trip knowing that when I returned to America I would be different. I would care about Africa. And I do. In "The Irresistible Revolution", Shane Claiborne says, "Don't let the world steal your soul. Being a Christian is about choosing Jesus and deciding to do something incredibly daring with your life." I want to do that.

There are things that I want to be a part of, there are places that I want to go, and there are people that I want to meet, but I don't know how yet. I don't know how to balance it all. I still have to work and buy groceries and fill my car up with gas and all these things that seem kinda silly to me right now. So I guess I'm trying to figure things out. I guess I'm still processing...

My sister left today for Germany. She will be there for 7 months going to school. See what being an mk will do to you... we are forever travelers... forever gypsies!

24 hours from now...

i'll be awake, jumping on my suitcases to make sure everything fits in. going over the ever-growing check list in my head, and on random sticky notes all over the place, to make sure i have everything i could possibly imagine needing in malawi, africa. i have a feeling i'll get over there and realize i completely overpacked!

if you enjoy living vicariously through other people's experiences then please check out the team's blog that i'll be updating while we're there:

www.wacclovesmalawi.blogspot.com

i'll hopefully check facebook and maybe email once or twice while i'm gone. i'll be back August 15 with tons of pictures and stories to tell.
until then... love,
Lindsay